I am just thinking about Jessica Torrey and how incredibly wise and smart she is but she doesn’t know it because she gets bad grades. It just shows that the system doesn’t work because they can’t recognize someone as incredibly smart as Jessica because of their broken system…
She always gives the best advice and always has incredibly thorough analysis on anything especially when it comes to Video Games.
---
Nutella tastes just like Yan Yan!!!!!!!! with crackers
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Welp, those are my thoughts for tonight… >.>
That's right! I'm a traitor, a backstabber, a social link reverser! I took advantage of his trust and stomped it to the ground! What the hell did I do, you may ask. I opened a personal letter of his that he entrusted me to deliver to someone else. (Jesus, what is this? Animal Crossing?) However, it wasn't just any letter! It was a Valentine's Day Letter! I know, I may as well have stabbed Daniel in the heart!
However, before you shout in my face about what an absolute asshole I am, allow me to explain to you why I HAD to do it!
It all started a few months ago when I met this guy at school named Kiba. (No, that's not his real name. It's his nickname.) He's a really cool guy who loves techno music. We talked for a while and I felt an instant bond of friendship with him. Because there was a rave that weekend, I decided to invite him. However, I had an ulterior motive. He is a furry and his fursona is a white wolf. Because of that, I would think that he would get along with my friends whom 75% of them happen to be furries as well! I also had another motive, to hook him up with my friend, Dominic, because as soon as I met Kiba, I felt that Dominic and Kiba would be perfect for each other. I honestly couldn't be more right!
That weekend, my brother and I hosted a rave and much to our surprise, Kiba offered to DJ the party. Another surprise was that he is an amazing DJ! During the party, I fulfilled my ulterior motive by introducing Kiba to Dominic and they hit it off really well as I so thought they would! The chemistry between them was obvious as if they were made for each other. However, the relationship is developing nice and slow like a normal relationship which is a good thing!
Let me tell you a little about Dominic: He's a furry and his fursona is a dragon. Dominic is a really chill guy. He's sweet, friendly, cool, and attractive. (Don't think I want him. He's not my type at all.)
A few weeks later, Dominic's 17th birthday was just around the corner so he asked to host a rave at my house to celebrate. Because Dominic is a furry (including 75% of my friends) and due to the fact that it was so close to Valentine's Day, I included the theme of the party to be a Furry Valentine's Day in which everyone would dress as their own Fursona and the rave would be leaning a little more towards romantic. Unlike the last party, my friend whom I later betray, Daniel, was able to make it to this party.
The rave was absolutely amazing. No amount of words is able to describe it but I can at least say it was definitely the best rave hosted at my house so far. Then to conclude the rave, one song was played as a slow dance and all of my group of friends danced together and I was literally able to feel the bonds of our friendship as we danced. (Forgive me but I am obsessed with the Persona series)
In the middle of the party, Daniel performed his first drag show. (It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen but I am pretty sure I could have done a better job than him.) Because it was Dominic's birthday, he got front row in a chair for Daniel to mess around with by doing raunchy acts such as lap dancing. However, because of this, I believe it was at this point Daniel became infatuated with Dominic.
Going to school with Daniel that week was almost unbearable because absolutely obsessed about Dominic. Keep in mind that Daniel just met Dominic saying such things such as "He's the one!" and "I'm in love! This IS love and I know he's in love with me back!" As I type this, I'm rolling my eyes and visualizing me yelling at Daniel 'How the fuck do you know? You just met the kid!!' Give me a fucking break! I can recall during class one day, instead of listening to a lecture, Daniel spent the entire class drawing this really shitty Valentine's Day card for him. It's hard to describe but it was nothing but a bunch of scribbles with hidden words in it such as "Rawr" and "Italian". I personally wanted to yell at him "What the fuck Daniel!? Do you honestly think that his race is a great romantic word to use??" Instead, I just bit my tongue and said "I'm sure he's going to love it..."
Even a few of my other friends whom Daniel talked to about his newfound love for Dominic also found this situation extremely affable. Elie, for example, told me he was just gonna root for Daniel to ask Dominic out just so Daniel would get rejected and thus get himself a little reality check! Honestly, it wasn't a bad idea but I was too nice to let Daniel do that to himself.
The next day at school, Daniel gave me a letter addressed to Dominic. Then he said "I'm trusting you to deliver this to Dominic." "No problem", I replied. "You can count on me!" I really was going to just give it to Dominic and had no other intentions. However, as the day progressed, I began to think 'Oh god! What if Daniel said something stupid in his Valentine like "I'm in love with you!!"' In my mind, I knew Daniel would be dumb enough to do that! Saying something like that would have stirred up more drama and made everyone uncomfortable with Daniel more than everyone already is! Keep in mind that this was only a little over a week after Daniel met Dominic and he thinks he's in love with the guy...
When I arrived at home, I immediately opened Dominic's Valentine expecting Daniel to say something drama-tastic. If there was, I would throw the Valentine away immediately and just tell Daniel I lost it. However, there wasn't anything objectionable. All it said was that Dominic was a pretty cool guy and that Daniel was glad to meet him. I felt horrendous afterward... It then completely occurred to me that I just broke Daniel's trust in the worst way possible.
I planned to give Dominic the Valentine but I completely forgot about it until the next rave when Daniel found it under my bed! (I honestly do not know how!) I was put on a guilt trip all night long by Daniel! However, the more I thought about it, the more I found that I was right about opening the Valentine!
What do you all think? Was I right in doing so?
---
Also, where the fuck is everyone on LJ?? Everyone's moved over to tumblr! I decided to bite the bullet and get one too...
www.heroicstar4u2c.tumblr.com
With that aside, let me get to my daily thought...
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I just listened to that new single from Lady GaGa called "Born this Way"... It's a song about how if you're gay, you should feel pride and not shame.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4a8QtvO
Upon listening to it, I can't help but thinking that it was one of the biggest pieces of shit that Lady GaGa has ever came out with. However, I suddenly had a thought to myself and I physically cringed at that thought..
There are times when people try to define me and who I am just because I happen to have a penis and am sexually attracted to other human beings with penises. For example, I feel obligated by everyone to be in love with Cher who is an ancient fossil with a voice of a walrus! (I used to love her but I never will again after I saw the movie, Burlesque, during what was possibly be the worst date of all time... More details about it in a future post hopefully)
Anyways, the reason why I cringe at the thought of hating "Born this Way" is because it's an anthem to the gays but I just know that I'm going to enrage some other gay guys simply because I don't have the same type of music tastes as them...
Sometimes it sucks to be gay... -_-
I'm gonna begin and say that I really suck when it comes to keeping my journal updated so you guys can see how wonderful my life is... (LOL, yeah right) Well, you see, I HAVE been wanting to post about lots of neat stuff but every time I tried, I couldn't fucking type because of my damned Writers Block!!! Oh well, let's begin...
So, this weekend was quite enjoyable because it was the weekend of RealmsCon! If you don't know what RealmsCon is, it's an Anime/Video Game convention that is held once a year in Corpus Christi. It's usually held in some hotel but this time it's held in a huge convention building so it was better suited there. By the way, it's kind of a small convention but it's still amazingly fun! (Many first timers come and expect something as huge as A-Con) This was our first time going without our friend, Jessica Torrey, who moved to Florida to live with her boyfriend. We all still miss her very much...
This image of a super sexy cosplayer is Chuck Stroschein who is better known as "Breakdancing Kakashi" is my obsession everytime I go to RealmsCon. You should see him shirtless, I get hard every time I see him!!! >_______________<
Every year, it is my mission to interact with this guy, even if it's only for a little bit...
Also, this year would be my first time hanging out with a LOT of friends at RealmsCon! The ones who got the three day passes were me, Elie, Danielle, Tim, Dominic, Hana, and Ben. There were more people who just went on Saturday and they included David, Chelsea, and Shae. However, we didn't really hangout with the people who went on Saturday that much! EVEN CHELSEA, MY BEST FRIEND, I ONLY HUNG OUT WITH FOR AN HOUR OR SO!!
So, here's how RealmsCon went...
Friday consisted of going there and immediately going straight to the Dealers Room which was significantly bigger than last year's dealer room! Also, because this was in the American Bank Center, instead of a hotel, there was a lot more space since the building was a lot bigger and was meant for a convention like that! It was also well Air Conditioned! Thank you, sweet Jesus! After a while of walking around and killing time, we participated in thing called Cosplay Chess which is a huge chess board and people in costume took place instead of chess pieces. It was really fun but there was only one twist, when attacked or attacking another piece, the two pieces play rock paper scissors to see who dies. They did this because they say it'll save time... And in my head, I was wondering to myself "How in the holy fuck does this save time!?" Well, we lost... miserably but it's okay because we all had a lot of fun. Besides, there wasn't much of a reward for winning anyways. However, I can take pride that I, cosplaying as Junpei playing as a Rook, killed their queen!!!
Shortly after that, we went to Whataburger on the Bay which is the biggest Whataburger in existence and Hana locked her keys in the car! She had to call a Lock Doc and it costed 69 dollars! So fucking expensive!
Later on, we met up with Tim and Dominic and they ended up playing with these foam swords that were a TON of fun to fight each other with. Hana and Elie fought against each other and it was so heated, you could cut to tension with a foam sword! We then agreed to do the tournament on Saturday in the afternoon. However, that didn't happen. (we woke up too late) Later on that day, I rushed my friends into coming to a concert were a band called Panjoma was playing and I am not even exaggerating when I say that it was the worst band I have ever heard in my life... I tried to get into it and dance on the dance floor but I couldn't even do that! By the way, I'm known for dancing to stupid undancable stuff like Country music or Christian Rock but this... I can't even describe it! They were like, super depressed emo techno that made me want to barf. Although the singer was trying to be enthusiastic, it was easy to tell she was super nervous and she said so too that she was nervous and then she started cussing all the time and blaming it on her nervousness. She then started saying stuff like "Oh! I don't care anymore! They didn't have a choice but to hire us! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" She was a fucking mess! Both her and her shitty band! They sounded horrible and their subwoofers added more bass than what was necessary striking the vibrations straight to my gut and making me sick. No one was having fun at the concert except for Elie who was messing with this super cute, yet super wasted guy. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I just walked out of the concert with everyone but Elie and the wasted dudes who were still having a lot of fun. By the way, I didn't have the heart to do so so Elie did it for me. She booed at Panjoma! You go, girl! Then afterwards was the Witches Ball held by these really awesome steampunk people called The Airship Isabella. Here's a picture of them.
This is The Airship Isabella and they are known for their unique style in which they incorporate styles of the mid 1800s and make it all punk style. They look HELLA cool in real life and a really hot member of the group really liked to talk to our group. They're super cool and I wanna try dressing like them one of these days. So, they hosted The Witches Ball and were supposed to have some sort of game in which we're supposed to figure out who the vampires are. It was really weird and it almost made me not want to participate because it sounded a little too vague and I wasn't really interested in listening to the rules. However, we went in anyways and we were treated to some really cool people dancing to anime music using traditional classical dances. For example, they danced to the theme of Naruto! It was really cool. Then afterwards, it was The Airship Isabella's turn to entertain us. However, miscommunication and creative differences caused the DJ to fuck up horribly. He was supposed to play some classical Victorian music with a modern twist. Instead, he played some of the best techno music I have ever heard in my life!!! Unfortunately, the DJ was fired that night, at least that's what I heard...
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Saturday was the cream of the crop and it always is when it comes to RealmsCon so heed my advice! If you are ever short on money and don't want to go for the whole three days but just want to go to one, GO ON SATURDAY!!! We arrived kind of late that day because we overslept but no matter, there was only one thing I was looking forward to and it was the rave tonight! Every year, RealmsCon hosts a super kick ass rave and this year, we were ready! Tim and I bought over a hundred dollars worth of glowsticks to distribute to our friends!
- Location:Garcia Science Building, Del Mar College
- Mood:
giddy - Music:Candyland- Blood on the Dance Floor
Let me give you an abridged version without the drama and emotion.
About a week or two ago, Jessica told me that she was moving to Florida and immediately, I tried to get her to stay but there was no way. She's flunking out of her university and then is going to move to Florida after this summer. It's really annoying how straight people just HAVE to base their lives around some other person.
After a few days, however, I said I was sorry for being immature and I should have supported her in her decision.
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If you've been keeping up with me, I made quite clear that my future was rather foggy and that my only dream job which was a game designer turned out to be a total bust after I realized I couldn't handle the most basic of programming classes. I went through a depression for a long time because what was subconsciously going through my mind was that my life is so close to ending yet I have nothing going for me. I don't go to a very remarkable school, my future is hazy because I haven't a clue of what I want to do with my life, I have trouble with men and I am about to live my life alone with ten cats!
I finally found a major that spoke to me. I decided that I am going to become an Art History major! Before you laugh at my decision, I find art fascinating and it's amazing looking at people who have different backgrounds and learning what their definition of creativity is. Also, one of the reasons that I wanted to be a game designer was because it is an under-appreciated form of art and I guess I didn't realize that until I played Persona 4. I guess I really wanted to contribute to the world of art but I have no creative skills so I can't draw or paint or sculpt or program games nor can I film a real movie so this is the next best thing.
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I keep trying to post about more recent news of Sarah but I still keep getting this pesky writers block and I end up not doing it... And yes, the situation with her got worse!
Anyways, I'm at the library and I have finals in about an hour. Maybe some other time, I'll edit this post and make it a bit longer...
- Mood:
lazy - Music:Whataya Want From Me- Adam Lambert
Was there something you were afraid of as a child that just seems silly to you now?
Submitted By ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
hamburger
Oh my god, Yes...
When I was a child, I got my first game system which was the SNES and it came with Super Mario World. In some of the levels in the game, there are alternate exits which often was a secret path in the game which were indicated by keyholes. To use the keyhole warp, you find the key and grab it to activate the keyhole. Once the keyhole is activated, the keyhole grows and swallows Mario up. To me, it was the scariest thing ever...
Kids sure are weird... >.>
- Location:Del Mar College Library
- Mood:
sympathetic
Everyone who knows me knows I'm a fan and what went through my mind was 'OMG! I have to have that shirt!' so I walked to the bus right outside where a few students were in line to give blood. As I walked in, I tensed up because the first thing I see is a student laying down with her arm hooked up to a weird looking machine to pump her blood into a bag. I was then completely aware that I'd be doing the same thing and my mind started to lean towards 'No! You can't do this!' but like a Twilight fan that I was, I kept pressing forward anyways. I had to have that shirt!!
One of the nurses there introduced herself and asked me to fill out a questionaire so I sat down on one of the padded seats and started to fill out my information. I then proceeded to answering the questions. At first, it was the standard "Have you ever donated blood before?" and so on but then the questions got heavier like "Are you or have you ever been a prostitute?" or "Are you a male and had sex with a male?"
I am gay and YES, I'm had sex with guys before. I answered truthfully to the questions and then proceeded by giving back the questionaire to the nurse.
The nurse reviewed the questionaire and nearly burst out laughing then gave me a weird look "You've had sex with a male?"
"Yes", I said.
Then he wrote something down on the questionaire and then told me "Because you're a homo, we're not allowed to take any of your blood because you people have a higher risk of getting AIDS." And yes, those were his exact words.
So, he then gave me a Twilight-based T-shirt and I was on my way. I mean, I was kinda happy that I didn't have to give any of my blood away and I didn't have to be poked by a needle but I know for a fact that they COULD have taken my blood!
I accept the fact that gay males have a higher chance of catching an STD but I also know that the blood that is donated is tested rigourously to make sure that it's safe. However, they just automatically assumed that because I'm gay, I have AIDS!
The T-Shirt that I really wanted, I can't even look at anymore. I feel violated and discriminated against and I feel like I should totally do something about this!
- Mood: rejected
- Music:Such Great Heights- The Postal Service
Let's continue with a bit of bittersweet news. Ugly Betty, one of my favorite shows on television, was cancelled but the series was ended appropriately though a little bit sudden in my opinion. However, rumors on the internet have been spreading that Ugly Betty will be making an appearance in the box office! I don't know about you but I will be first in line to purchase my ticket to see Betty once again making a splash in the publishing industry!! Let's hope ABC doesn't fuck this up too...
I'd like to make a criticism of the final episode of Ugly Betty but there are those who are reading my blog that do not wish to be spoiled of the ending of Ugly Betty.
I feel like I'm starting to not really matter anymore to my friends and family. Like, if I were to die, everyone would be sad for about a few minutes and then get on with their lives. Now, let me just get one thing clear. I may be a selfish brat who is still a child inside but damn it, I am a good friend! (Or at least I hope I am...) However, it's been so apparent lately that what I feel is a strong connection with another human being doesn't mean shit to others. Like, really! Is there anything I'm doing wrong? Am I a bad friend? Am I being selfish by trying to keep them close? Is it so wrong that I try to protect my friends and look out for them?
I'll edit this post and type more later. It's time for my English class...
About a month ago, I went to The Vault with my ex-friend named Daniel Gonzales. (Refer to an older post to find out why I friend-dumped his ass) There, we met a cute boy named RJ who was just my type! He was really cute and 25 which is my ideal age. We were at a table and Daniel and RJ were chatting up a storm and I texted Daniel who was right next to me that I thought he was cute. However, I was too shy to say anything about it. Daniel, of course, being the motherfucker who doesn't respect my feelings or my privacy blurted out that I did think he was cute! That was extremely embarassing... But on the other hand, he thought it was cute of me to be so shy so he actually started talking to me!! Then later in the night, he danced with me and got a little bit feely. For example, he squeezed my chest and my butt. After the night, we said out good byes and realized something awful, I forgot to ask him for his number!! I could have kicked myself!
The next day, I got a friend request from him!!! Oh, I was so happy but I decided not to message him just yet. I didn't even know what to say anyways. Then a few days later, I got a message from a random guy I did not know. It said something along the lines of "Stop flirting with my boyfriend, RJ! " It was a much longer message but that was the gist of it all. So then, I finally messaged RJ to tell him that he should tell his boyfriend that it was a misunderstanding. However, he replied to me saying to stop flirting with him and that I should leave him alone. I just shrugged it off and thought 'whatever' but...
In the course of the next few days, I received dozens of threatening messages from his friends telling me to leave him alone and that I shouldn't show my ugly face at The Vault again. Also, they sent hurtful comments about how I am pathetic and that RJ just wants to use me for sex and also how I am a desperate person who wants to be a bottom bitch for some guy. I almost cried on multiple occasions as I read those awful messages.
As I recovered from all of those comments, I thought to myself that I'm not ugly! Do you guys think so? Also, I want to punch RJ in the face and remind him that he's the one who grabbed my ass and I wasn't the one flirting on purpose. It was that fucker, Jacob Gonzales! I wanted my feelings to be private so I wrote it in a text message! Also, you shouldn't be at a bar alone hitting on younger guys if you have a fucking boyfriend!!! Geez!
- Mood: apathetic
Anyways, let's talk about one of my friends. Her name is Shannon Cantu. You can look her up on facebook and youtube as 'Shannon Gaga' if you want... She currently goes to Texas State University in San Marcos. Shortly after attending, she developed an alter ego named Shannon Gaga in which she emulates Lady Gaga. It's one thing to idolize a celebrity but Shannon takes it to a whole new level of obsession. For example, she dresses in nothing but leotards and high heels in public. (Did I mention she's rather large?) So, hanging out with her is beyond embarrassing! Especially when I go clubbing with her. Recently, she's became quite famous around Corpus Christi, her school, and the internet. I try to warn her about how she's nothing but a joke to everyone but she won't listen...
Now onto the next friend who has the most drama out of all of my friends put together, her name is Sarah. She has a boyfriend named Jacob Demonti whom all of her friends (including me) believes he's insane and controlling. Let me start from the beginning. About two years ago, Jessica, Sarah, and I went to a concert in RealmsCon of a J-Core band called The Royal Dead. There, Sarah met a Jacob and not even a week later, they were together and Sarah believed she found the love of her life. Here I am, typing this, almost gagging at how naive straight people are. Then about a month later, Jacob went to the insane asylum for what he claims to be Jacob defending himself by attacking his abusive parents. He stayed in the asylum for almost a year and a half! However, the maximum penalty for a juvenile commiting assault and battery is about three months in Juvenile Hall, so for him to stay in the asylum for so long sounds really fishy. It's as if he must have done something horrible! During his time in the asylum, Jacob became the target of Sarah's obsession as she constantly talked about him. Being her friend, we were obviously there for her to be shoulders for her to lean on and lending an ear when she needed to talk so before Jacob came out of the asylum, we have hung out very often like almost everyday after school.
Jacob recently came out of the insane asylum and suddenly, visits from Sarah dramatically decreased. I haven't talked her in more than a month and when I do see her at my brothers school to pick my brother up, she avoids eye contact with us... About a week after Jacob was released, I get a random phone call from Sarah. She was crying and she was asking me to take all pictures of her off of my facebook account. Curious, I asked her why. She just said she had to delete her facebook. Again, I asked why. She never answered. Sure enough, her facebook and myspace was deleted.
There are only two people in the world who have the power to make her delete her facebook: Jacob and her father. If it was her father whom wanted her to delete her account, she would have just ranted my ear off on the phone being all like "My bitch ass whore son of a bitch dad is making me". However, she was crying and refused to tell me why she had to delete her facebook so I came to the assumption that it was the first warning sign that Jacob was indeed insane and is a controlling boyfriend so I alerted my friends, including Jessica and my best friend, Chelsea, to watch out for Sarah and look out for any signs that Jacob may be abusive. Also, I asked them to watch out for any signs in changes of mood.
It has been over a month since I have hung out with Sarah so I decided to call her and ask to hang out. No answer. Then suddenly, I get a text message saying "stop calling me". She was mad at me and Tim for ABSOLUTELY no reason. No really, I am not kidding. When I asked her to give me ONE reason why she was mad at me and Tim, she wouldn't give one then after about thirty minutes of angry texting to each other, she finally cracked and said that she wasn't actually mad at us. She just wanted to be with Jacob and wanted to be affiliated with no one else. It was the final piece to the puzzle! Jacob is a controlling manipulative insane boyfriend. Problem is, I have no idea what I can do to fix this. I have told her mom but I don't think she'll know what to do any better than I do.
So, readers, help me out! What should I do about Sarah? :(
- Mood:
annoyed
